10 Weeks... Weird feeling

Hello everyone I still have no major pain going on since the removal of my k-wire just a light sting where the pin was removed. I do feel something weird going on with the bone in my toe that I will try my best to explain. It feels as if the bone is shifting whenever I flex my foot. Makes me wonder if it's even in place. I don't know if I should be concerned but I will be sure to let my doctor know of this feeling on my next appointment. If anyone else feels similar weirdness in their foot please let me know.

9 weeks & 5 days K Wire Removal

Yesterday I went to the doctor & had my K wire(brachy pin which helps hold the bone in place) removed. It was done very quickly & the only thing I felt was quick pressure. The rest of the day I felt a burning sensation. Although I have been on partial weight bearing the doctor has put me back on non weight bearing again to make sure everything stays put without any support :-(.. I am very sick of crutches but on the bright side it is almost over :-)... My wound is greatly improving so hopefully everything will be as should when I go back to the doctor in 10 days!!:)

9 Weeks

Work has been going great. I have a sitting job so I'm basically taking it easy & sitting for 8 hours. I have been walking with just my boot on with no crutch assistance. Hoping the transition to walking on my bare foot is just as smooth. As of now I can place my foot on the ground with no pain but it's kind of impossible to walk on it with the pin and all. I do not have any pain at all so I feel I have no worries. I am really looking forward to my doctor taking my pin out on Monday. I feel he has no reason not to. Just rambling you guys & gals.

My boot!!

8 weeks & 4 days

Hello everyone. I am doing a whole lot better since the last time I blogged. After doing much praying and getting another x-ray taken I didn't have to have a surgery as I was told last time I blogged. The doctor stated that the bone seemed to have incorporated in place as it should. The doctor also removed the fixator from my foot maybe at week 6. The fixator started going into my skin resulting maybe from a bump of it or something. I am still trying to heal the area were the first fixator pin dug into my skin. It was very bad. It has indeed come a long way but still not exactly where it should be. I am changing my bandage myself(under doctor's orders) and caring for the wound everyday instead of waiting to go to the doctor every week. I still have a brachy pin(which can't get wet by water) in my toe that I hope will be taken out during my next doctor's appointment which is Monday of next week. He scheduled this appointment 2 weeks apart from my last which is a sign of progress in my opinion. I am usually scheduled to go every 5 days or so. The last xray looked very good and he gave me the ok to bear weight on my heel with the assistance of my boot. I am not feeling pain at all except it feels very weird where the brachy pin is. I've been walking with 1 crutch and the boot. Last night I walked around the house a little with 1 crutch and my bare foot(heel of course). I recently came back to work a week ago to be exact with sitting duties only. It hasn't been bad at all. Actually feel great to be out of the house again in the real world:). I also took part as bridesmaid in my sister's wedding a week or so ago. It went well and everyone was very helpful and accommodating to me. My toe length is still "normal", it just looks very weird because it is still healing. The area of my foot where the fixator was is very dark in complexion compared to the rest of my foot. Hopefully it will lighten back up eventually. When I get the wound completely healed I will try products to help me get it back as close to normal as possible. I recently got a great foot scrubbing while avoiding the pin and the wounded area of my foot and got rid of so much dead skin. My foot looks like an entirely new foot. I plan to add pictures to my blog soon so please be patient. I was going though a little uncertainty so please forgive me for my break in keeping you posted on what's been going on with me.

The fixator dug into my skin creating a very bad wound.. He removed it when it got to this point!!

My foot after the fixator was removed. It's still swollen & looks weird but I have length & the wound is healing better now that the fixator is gone!

My wrapped up foot after the fixator was removed

X-ray

4 weeks & 3 days since surgery:-(

Hello everyone. ****Before I start on this update let me first say this. Despite the difficulties I may be facing everyone is different. My experience may be different from yours and the next. Please don't let anything I say discourage you from getting this sugery if you feel this is something you really want to do. My only advice to you is RESEARCH RESEARCH RESEARCH!!! Even then you don't know what may happen until you go through it.*** Wednesday of last week I went to the doctor and received an xray and didn't receive as good of news as I expected. The bone in my brachy toe shifted over from where it should be and I am going to have to get a 2nd surgery. Out of all my research I haven't heard of this happening so of course in my mind I have a million questions, firstly WHY ME?? I've tried my best to be careful and called myself doing everything right so it makes me wonder if this surgery was perforemed correctly to begin with.I am feeling very unconfident right about the entire situation and at moments I cannot stop crying. Of course going into this I knew things didn't always go as expected but with so many success stories I just couldn't help but go for it.At this point I am so confused and really don't know if I should go to get a second opinion which I doubt another doctor would want to see me with all I have going on performed by someone else. I metioned that my doc performed the one step surgey and placed a fixator on as well. I never heard of a doc doing that in my research and my doc said it's surgeons choice. Finally yesterday while researching I found that some surgeons who do the one step method do use the fixator as well for support and to keep the bone steady. Obviously it didn't keep it steady enough. Right now I'm just kind of nervous and scared because I really don't know what to expect next. Will everything be ok after the second surgery? Will I have to endure as much pain as I did the first time? Will I come out of this with a corrected toe or a toe at all?? I know I may be thinking too hard and worrying too much. I know I'm driving my loved 1's up the wall worried about this "toe". In the back of my mind I'm thinking if I should have just left this toe alone. I wanted this and I have to gather myself and finish getting through this and pray for the best. I have another appt this upcoming Wednesday and I will update you all!! Thanks for listening to this vent. Hopefully I'll be more confident and in better spirits next time.

Xray

3 weeks & 5 days

Where should I start. Right now I'm just healing and trying to remain positive & hopeful.Everything has been going well until last week. I had a little of bleeding through my bandages for the first time & it kind of freaked me out. Since it was a few days before my appointment I took it upon myself and changed my gauzes & bandages. While changing it I got a glimpse of my foot and I must say it looked pretty gruesome which really freaked me out. When I went to the doctor he said I must of bumped my foot near the area where the fixator is because it dug into my skin a little. He loosened the pins in the them and gave me more antibiotics to start taking again. He also instructed me to call him if I ever need my bandages changed. I was unsure about changing them in the first place but wasn't initially told not to. Besides that my toe looks really weird to me & still feels very numb. The calf of the leg I had surgery has lost all of it's muscle which is called atrophy. This is due to that leg not being used at all. The doctor suggested I do slight leg exercises & assured as soon I start back bearing weight I will regain muscle. I'm trying to think positive and consider all of these things normal and try to keep my mind off of the foot surgery horror stories I've heard. I broke down after last week's appointment but my support team made me feel so much better with their encouraging words. This process is not simple as 123. You have to be prepared for some good days and bad physically & mentally. On the up side I have got out the house to enjoy the weather during the Memorial Day weekend although it was in my mom backyard it was nice. My family is awesome, so supportive. I go to the doctor tomorrow and plans to do xrays so I'm praying for some good news. I will let you know.. Stay tuned!!:)

This is the atrophy. The leg of the foot I got surgery on has lost all muscle..

:-(This looks pretty bad I know.... Sorry... Fixator had dug into my skin really bad!!

1 week & 2 days Later

Everything has been going well I guess. I still endure a little pain & discomfort but it's way more bearable. I try not to take the hydrocodones unless it's necessary. I even take half sometimes. My brachy toe is really swollen & very numb to touch. I really hope that's normal. For the good news, when I went to the doc on last week he too off the bandage & I saw a normal length toe.. :-). I grinned all day after seeing that!! He did the one step procedure but also temporarily attached a fixator. It's way diff & smaller than the fixators normally used. He said he wanted to get the longest possible length. Being kind of confined is pretty tough for an active mother of a 4 year old but I feel it will all be worth it. I have had someone home with me day in & out all week but finally stayed alone last night. It wasn't too bad. I really look forward to walking even if only in the boot. I hope my recovery is pretty speedy!! My next post op is scheduled for Monday. I will update you then. Stay tuned:)

This is how the bottom of my brachy toe looks.... Normal length:)But still pretty red & swollen.

Day after Surgery.... Painnnn

Had the surgery on yesterday and everything went ok except I was in surgery way longer than expected. I don't know exactly why but I will find out at my post up appointment on Monday. On surgery day I went through all the pre surgery procedures and was told I was gonna get something to make me feel good. Next thing you know I woke up in the recovery room with burning eyes.I also don't know why my eyes were burning so bad but they gave me drops and they were ooook within a few hours. The first day/night wasn't so bad pain wise but right now it's a different story. I'm trying to stay on my meds and get some rest. I am very uncomfortable but I won't complain because I knew what I was getting myself into. My family has been very supportive even my 4ever y/o daughter:).. I'm working these crutches & trying to stay in high spirits until it's medicine time again... Anywho I will update you all after my Post Op appt Monday.

My Brachy Footwear

 

 

These are my all time fave Brachy wear... I think every1 else hates em though!! If they only knew!!:)

Yes I wear flip flops sometimes... Of course I was glad to find some with the flower camouflaging my toe!!

Nervous but Anxious

Since I last posted I have spoke to my doctor and his staff and I am feeling a little more confident about my decision. Also while trying to research other doctor's with experience with this surgery in my area his(current doctor) name kept popping up so I decided to go ahead with my planned surgery. I have 3 days to go. I will be getting the one step procedure. I am sooo nervous but it doesn't stop me 1 bit from being excited. I know I will have a long road of recovery ahead of me but I feel like this will be totally worth it.

2nd Thoughts

Last night I was speaking with my mom about my surgery and showing her different blogs and pictures on brachymetatarsia. She is very excited for the decision I have made and plans to get the surgery in the future after she sees the result of mine. While talking, I told her the doctor who will be performing my surgery explained what will be going on but he wasn't very personable in my opinion. She suggested that I try another doctor because I would want to be at ease. After she said that I checked the reviews for this particular doctor and other patients agreed that he wasn't very personable. Strictly business and move on to the next. I'm not saying I need a doctor to sit around and lollygag with me but a nice personality would be a little more comforting I think. I was so excited to finally seek help for my toe that I didn't even think about this. I'm slightly confused right now. Don't know if I should chop this up as no big deal or if I should make this a big DEAL.... I am really deep in thought right now!! 

My Life Experience with Brachymetatarsia

Only the term Brachymetatarsia is new to me. I come from a full line of family members who suffer from this condition which we call "the toe". I remember as a kid teasing my mother about her toe being stuck on top of the other. Little did I know my "perfect" little toe would soon transform to the little stacked toe I made jokes about. As a kid, before I knew any better, I ran around barefoot just as the other kids did. The older we became the more noticeable my different looking toes became to my friends and those around me. I remember my friends saying your poor little toe has never ever touched the ground before(lol). Around that time as I was approaching my teen years I began taking cover. What I mean by that is socks all the time, no open toe sandal unless they were the peep toe kind. When I went swimming I made up excuses to keep my socks on. At my current age of 27 I have had several boyfriends and zero of them have seen my feet before. I have done the show my left foot only trick since the brachy is on my right foot. Most didn't seem to care about me wearing socks all of the time but the older I get the awkward the situation is. I think I avoid long term relationships in fear of being judged about my toe. Of course I would want a guy to want me for what I have going on on the inside and nothing physical but this is an insecurity of mine that I'm not ready to share at all and probably never will. To be honest none of my closest friends who I have met from the ages 11 and up have ever saw my feet but they hardly ever question my obsessive sock wearing habit. I believe some may put 2 and 2 together when they see my mom walking around proudly with her feet out, Brachy and all.
    I go get pedicures from time to time. I find a shop with my Brachy toe facing away from the main entrance and of course it has to be the time of day when very slim or no other customers are there. Of course I suck it up and just go from time to time but the side stares are not comforting at all. This all brings me to today. I have been doing a little research and had a couple of doctor's appointments and I plan to get the big one step surgery. My date is set for May 11th 2012. I will keep you all informed through this journey.