2nd Thoughts

Last night I was speaking with my mom about my surgery and showing her different blogs and pictures on brachymetatarsia. She is very excited for the decision I have made and plans to get the surgery in the future after she sees the result of mine. While talking, I told her the doctor who will be performing my surgery explained what will be going on but he wasn't very personable in my opinion. She suggested that I try another doctor because I would want to be at ease. After she said that I checked the reviews for this particular doctor and other patients agreed that he wasn't very personable. Strictly business and move on to the next. I'm not saying I need a doctor to sit around and lollygag with me but a nice personality would be a little more comforting I think. I was so excited to finally seek help for my toe that I didn't even think about this. I'm slightly confused right now. Don't know if I should chop this up as no big deal or if I should make this a big DEAL.... I am really deep in thought right now!! 

My Life Experience with Brachymetatarsia

Only the term Brachymetatarsia is new to me. I come from a full line of family members who suffer from this condition which we call "the toe". I remember as a kid teasing my mother about her toe being stuck on top of the other. Little did I know my "perfect" little toe would soon transform to the little stacked toe I made jokes about. As a kid, before I knew any better, I ran around barefoot just as the other kids did. The older we became the more noticeable my different looking toes became to my friends and those around me. I remember my friends saying your poor little toe has never ever touched the ground before(lol). Around that time as I was approaching my teen years I began taking cover. What I mean by that is socks all the time, no open toe sandal unless they were the peep toe kind. When I went swimming I made up excuses to keep my socks on. At my current age of 27 I have had several boyfriends and zero of them have seen my feet before. I have done the show my left foot only trick since the brachy is on my right foot. Most didn't seem to care about me wearing socks all of the time but the older I get the awkward the situation is. I think I avoid long term relationships in fear of being judged about my toe. Of course I would want a guy to want me for what I have going on on the inside and nothing physical but this is an insecurity of mine that I'm not ready to share at all and probably never will. To be honest none of my closest friends who I have met from the ages 11 and up have ever saw my feet but they hardly ever question my obsessive sock wearing habit. I believe some may put 2 and 2 together when they see my mom walking around proudly with her feet out, Brachy and all.
    I go get pedicures from time to time. I find a shop with my Brachy toe facing away from the main entrance and of course it has to be the time of day when very slim or no other customers are there. Of course I suck it up and just go from time to time but the side stares are not comforting at all. This all brings me to today. I have been doing a little research and had a couple of doctor's appointments and I plan to get the big one step surgery. My date is set for May 11th 2012. I will keep you all informed through this journey.