2 years later

Hello all, It's been quite a while since I last posted. I made this decision on a limb and I faced and am dealing with all of the consequences from it. My entire procedure did not go well. I really believe I went to a doctor who wasn't as knowledgeable as he said he was on this procedure. I want to blame him but I must take the blame myself as well. I did my research but out of excitement and anticipation did I jump into this without digging deep enough? After all of the pain, time off from work, and money spent my foot is in the same condition plus darker and added scars to bring more attention to it. I'm not sure if the bone was set properly and I have no feeling at all in my brachy toe. It took me a while to face the fact that I took a risk and wasted a lot in this procedure. My advice to anyone deciding to get this surgery done I would say to keep in mind that everything may not go as perfect as some of the stories you may have seen or heard suggests. Research, research, research!!! Investigate the doctor, interview past patients if possible, and go to more than one doctor. After all of this I realized that life goes on. No I'm still not very comfortable walking around barefoot and of course I would love to have "perfect pretty toes" but that is not my reality. I now dig deeper to find the sandals that compliment my different feet. Everyone has something about them that they would like to change so we should not feel alone. I would never say do not do the surgery because I know the struggle and embarrassment that comes with Brachymetarsia. I will say to be realistic with yourself and prepare yourself for the long weeks or months that it will take you to recoup as well as the possibility that your final outcome could be less than perfect. If you have any questions please feel free to leave a comment and I will be sure to respond. Until next time......

10 Weeks... Weird feeling

Hello everyone I still have no major pain going on since the removal of my k-wire just a light sting where the pin was removed. I do feel something weird going on with the bone in my toe that I will try my best to explain. It feels as if the bone is shifting whenever I flex my foot. Makes me wonder if it's even in place. I don't know if I should be concerned but I will be sure to let my doctor know of this feeling on my next appointment. If anyone else feels similar weirdness in their foot please let me know.

9 weeks & 5 days K Wire Removal

Yesterday I went to the doctor & had my K wire(brachy pin which helps hold the bone in place) removed. It was done very quickly & the only thing I felt was quick pressure. The rest of the day I felt a burning sensation. Although I have been on partial weight bearing the doctor has put me back on non weight bearing again to make sure everything stays put without any support :-(.. I am very sick of crutches but on the bright side it is almost over :-)... My wound is greatly improving so hopefully everything will be as should when I go back to the doctor in 10 days!!:)

9 Weeks

Work has been going great. I have a sitting job so I'm basically taking it easy & sitting for 8 hours. I have been walking with just my boot on with no crutch assistance. Hoping the transition to walking on my bare foot is just as smooth. As of now I can place my foot on the ground with no pain but it's kind of impossible to walk on it with the pin and all. I do not have any pain at all so I feel I have no worries. I am really looking forward to my doctor taking my pin out on Monday. I feel he has no reason not to. Just rambling you guys & gals.

My boot!!

8 weeks & 4 days

Hello everyone. I am doing a whole lot better since the last time I blogged. After doing much praying and getting another x-ray taken I didn't have to have a surgery as I was told last time I blogged. The doctor stated that the bone seemed to have incorporated in place as it should. The doctor also removed the fixator from my foot maybe at week 6. The fixator started going into my skin resulting maybe from a bump of it or something. I am still trying to heal the area were the first fixator pin dug into my skin. It was very bad. It has indeed come a long way but still not exactly where it should be. I am changing my bandage myself(under doctor's orders) and caring for the wound everyday instead of waiting to go to the doctor every week. I still have a brachy pin(which can't get wet by water) in my toe that I hope will be taken out during my next doctor's appointment which is Monday of next week. He scheduled this appointment 2 weeks apart from my last which is a sign of progress in my opinion. I am usually scheduled to go every 5 days or so. The last xray looked very good and he gave me the ok to bear weight on my heel with the assistance of my boot. I am not feeling pain at all except it feels very weird where the brachy pin is. I've been walking with 1 crutch and the boot. Last night I walked around the house a little with 1 crutch and my bare foot(heel of course). I recently came back to work a week ago to be exact with sitting duties only. It hasn't been bad at all. Actually feel great to be out of the house again in the real world:). I also took part as bridesmaid in my sister's wedding a week or so ago. It went well and everyone was very helpful and accommodating to me. My toe length is still "normal", it just looks very weird because it is still healing. The area of my foot where the fixator was is very dark in complexion compared to the rest of my foot. Hopefully it will lighten back up eventually. When I get the wound completely healed I will try products to help me get it back as close to normal as possible. I recently got a great foot scrubbing while avoiding the pin and the wounded area of my foot and got rid of so much dead skin. My foot looks like an entirely new foot. I plan to add pictures to my blog soon so please be patient. I was going though a little uncertainty so please forgive me for my break in keeping you posted on what's been going on with me.

The fixator dug into my skin creating a very bad wound.. He removed it when it got to this point!!

My foot after the fixator was removed. It's still swollen & looks weird but I have length & the wound is healing better now that the fixator is gone!

My wrapped up foot after the fixator was removed

X-ray

4 weeks & 3 days since surgery:-(

Hello everyone. ****Before I start on this update let me first say this. Despite the difficulties I may be facing everyone is different. My experience may be different from yours and the next. Please don't let anything I say discourage you from getting this sugery if you feel this is something you really want to do. My only advice to you is RESEARCH RESEARCH RESEARCH!!! Even then you don't know what may happen until you go through it.*** Wednesday of last week I went to the doctor and received an xray and didn't receive as good of news as I expected. The bone in my brachy toe shifted over from where it should be and I am going to have to get a 2nd surgery. Out of all my research I haven't heard of this happening so of course in my mind I have a million questions, firstly WHY ME?? I've tried my best to be careful and called myself doing everything right so it makes me wonder if this surgery was perforemed correctly to begin with.I am feeling very unconfident right about the entire situation and at moments I cannot stop crying. Of course going into this I knew things didn't always go as expected but with so many success stories I just couldn't help but go for it.At this point I am so confused and really don't know if I should go to get a second opinion which I doubt another doctor would want to see me with all I have going on performed by someone else. I metioned that my doc performed the one step surgey and placed a fixator on as well. I never heard of a doc doing that in my research and my doc said it's surgeons choice. Finally yesterday while researching I found that some surgeons who do the one step method do use the fixator as well for support and to keep the bone steady. Obviously it didn't keep it steady enough. Right now I'm just kind of nervous and scared because I really don't know what to expect next. Will everything be ok after the second surgery? Will I have to endure as much pain as I did the first time? Will I come out of this with a corrected toe or a toe at all?? I know I may be thinking too hard and worrying too much. I know I'm driving my loved 1's up the wall worried about this "toe". In the back of my mind I'm thinking if I should have just left this toe alone. I wanted this and I have to gather myself and finish getting through this and pray for the best. I have another appt this upcoming Wednesday and I will update you all!! Thanks for listening to this vent. Hopefully I'll be more confident and in better spirits next time.

Xray

3 weeks & 5 days

Where should I start. Right now I'm just healing and trying to remain positive & hopeful.Everything has been going well until last week. I had a little of bleeding through my bandages for the first time & it kind of freaked me out. Since it was a few days before my appointment I took it upon myself and changed my gauzes & bandages. While changing it I got a glimpse of my foot and I must say it looked pretty gruesome which really freaked me out. When I went to the doctor he said I must of bumped my foot near the area where the fixator is because it dug into my skin a little. He loosened the pins in the them and gave me more antibiotics to start taking again. He also instructed me to call him if I ever need my bandages changed. I was unsure about changing them in the first place but wasn't initially told not to. Besides that my toe looks really weird to me & still feels very numb. The calf of the leg I had surgery has lost all of it's muscle which is called atrophy. This is due to that leg not being used at all. The doctor suggested I do slight leg exercises & assured as soon I start back bearing weight I will regain muscle. I'm trying to think positive and consider all of these things normal and try to keep my mind off of the foot surgery horror stories I've heard. I broke down after last week's appointment but my support team made me feel so much better with their encouraging words. This process is not simple as 123. You have to be prepared for some good days and bad physically & mentally. On the up side I have got out the house to enjoy the weather during the Memorial Day weekend although it was in my mom backyard it was nice. My family is awesome, so supportive. I go to the doctor tomorrow and plans to do xrays so I'm praying for some good news. I will let you know.. Stay tuned!!:)

This is the atrophy. The leg of the foot I got surgery on has lost all muscle..

:-(This looks pretty bad I know.... Sorry... Fixator had dug into my skin really bad!!